


Northern Lights

by Future_Scxrs



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alcoholism, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forbidden Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Northern Lights, Song Inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 08:24:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15926594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Future_Scxrs/pseuds/Future_Scxrs
Summary: Iceland has been acting differently these past few months, and Finland wants to help him through his struggles. Inside the darkness, they manage to find time to be together.Based on the song Northern Lights by Jaymes Young!





	Northern Lights

**Author's Note:**

> Haha! Okay, so, I started writing this in like March, so some of Ice’s worries will be a bit outdated and such. I’ve been working on many fics currently, and I’ve finally finished this one! I’m actually proud of this one, it’s cute, I think!   
> Big thank you to my friend, Alex, who was with me for most of this story. Btw, definitely check out her fics, @shoot_the_musician, I seriously recommend them!   
> This story is based on the song Northern Lights by Jaymes Young, it gives me such FinIce vibes I couldn’t resist! I’m heavily debating creating a DenNor fic to go along with this, I’ve already got a song to use for it!

Finland would’ve been lying if he said he didn’t notice something strange about the Icelander recently, he just seemed so  _ off  _ as of lately. Not that anyone knew what exactly was going on, everytime someone would ask, he’d always shrug it off and go to his room, and cry. The Finn was the only one who heard the tears, but they were still there, and it hurt so much knowing that if he tried to speak to his friend about it, he would never get an answer out of him, he was just so distant. 

 

He first noticed these changes a few months back, when he suddenly became a lot quieter, baring in mind Iceland had always been a fairly quiet person and nation, most just figured it was nothing or they didn’t really notice, but that didn’t mean no one did. At first, it started off as just Finland and Norway who were worried, but soon Denmark noticed too, and then Sweden. Funnily, he didn’t even think Iceland had noticed the change within himself until much later. 

 

Second, he was spending a lot more time on his phone, and barely did any of the things with the four of them anymore. All five of them together, they used to play board games, go on walks, watch movies. Sometimes, he, Iceland, Norway and Sweden would work together to hide the Dane’s beer- and sometimes, when they were feeling really brave, they’d hide the Norwegian’s butter from him. Now, however, Emil didn’t partake in any of that anymore. It was undeniably hurtful, to see him push them all away. 

 

Third, he seemed to be drinking a lot more lately, and seeing him actually stay sober seemed harder and harder with every day. These new found drinking habits were having effects on both him and his brother, too. Seemingly, such drinking was not good for his health or the health of his nation. Yet, it was like he didn’t care anymore, it was all making it worse, however.

 

And there he was, sat outside on the grass of their shared garden, a bottle of bourbon by his side as he cried. His head was in his knees and he was in the position of a ball, arms wrapped around his legs and he cried harder and harder. He was so lonely, so sad, so broken. In a hurry, he tried to take another drink of the alcohol, probably try to down it in two drinks. His hand looked so red, he was shaking and it seemed really wet due to all the tears. He was about to have another drink.

 

Until Tino stopped him. Holding his wrist before he could lift up the bottle any further, before taking the alcohol from his hands and moving it so that it was out of reach from him. His head raised and their eyes met, and that’s when the Finn saw all the pain that his friend was hiding from everyone, he saw the innocent, lost boy that he had become, everything he had hid was all inside his eyes, and it was so hard to look at. 

 

“I don’t think you want to drink any more of that.” He smiled a heartwarming smile, and it seemed to leave the younger man in almost a trance. 

 

Like usual, he tore his eyes away and looked down at the floor, trying to block himself off, trying to push the Finnish man away, “Please go away, Tino.” He whispered so that it was barely audible. 

 

He checked the ground before sitting down next to his fellow Northern European. It wasn’t that cold outside, there was little to no breeze and it seemed to be clear in the sky, but it wasn’t an unbearably hot night either, it was just right. For a second, he could understand why his friend chose to sit out here, but that was soon replaced with more questions about why he didn’t choose to isolate himself in room like he did every other day. What was so different about today? 

 

“Why are you out here, Emil?” The question escaped his tongue before he could even think about what he was saying, but after second thinking, he supposed he didn’t mind himself asking it. His tone was so sweet, so caring, so much so that it made the other want to open up about everything within that one second. Desperately, he held himself from talking, the Finn had always been the one that was the hardest to hide how he was feeling from. 

 

Although he didn’t say anything, he did shuffle a little closer to the older nation and maybe even loosen up his position a bit. It was enough to tell Tino that he wasn’t completely lost, he could be cracked open, he could be helped. Slowly and carefully, he thought over his words before attempting to continue, he figured that mentioning the others wouldn’t be that helpful right now, and thus, that was a subject to be avoided until later on in the conversation. 

 

Eventually, he came up with the conclusion that it would be best to give Emil some water before anything else. Thankfully, he had taken out a bottle of VOSS before he went out to speak with his friend. With caution, he unfastened the lid and handed the bottle over, explaining that he needed to drink something. Iceland looked a little unsure and unkeen on the idea at first, but eventually he did do as told, almost downing the whole bottle, in fact. 

 

After almost finishing all of the water, he seemed a little more in touch with what was happening and was less red too, it was a relief to see him sobering up and it made him happier than someone could ever imagine to know that he was slowly helping his friend.

 

“I just, I feel as though everything is piling up and weighing me down and pushing on me, laughing while it watches my despair. Then, when I think I’m okay again, it adds more things on and I cannot take it.” He confessed, which was a big surprise to the Finn. Nonetheless, he was very happy to know what he was the one Emil trusted to tell, and he was even happier to know that Emil was telling someone. 

 

“What do you mean?” He responded with a question, a question which was a pretty risky one. Would he feel like elaborating on what he said? What if it had just slipped out and now he would just end up going back to being silent and alienated? Tino hoped with every bone in his body that he would get an answer to that question. 

 

Luckily, his hopes were met, “Everything is getting to me, the terrorist attacks that happened all around the world these last two years, the damaging of the planet and environment, the threats of World War Three… I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t.” He cried and cried, throwing his arms around his friend in a hug and crying even more into his jacket sleeve. 

 

In surprise, he returned the hug, rubbing his friend’s bad lightly before expressing little comforting words. It wasn’t strange to him how he soon felt his own heart speed up, he’d be fooling not even himself if he said that he hadn’t caught feelings for the Icelander in a more than friendly manner. The hug was more than special to him, it felt magical, almost. There was something right about how he fit inside his arms, something right about it being the two of them. 

 

But, there was also the wrongs, the wrongs being the circumstances, the tears on his jacket and how one of them was still drunk and may not fully remember it the next morning, the way that the Icelander’s maybe-a-little-too-overprotective brother would react to their hug- thankfully, he was out with the Swede and Dane at the minute, though. Another wrong was just how right it felt, he knew that there could never be anything between him and Emil, it was a childish crush that would never go anywhere, this hug was dangerously good. 

 

“World War Three will not be happening any time soon, and if it does, Norway’s staying neutral, you could too. Em, you don’t have to fight in anything if you don’t want to. You are  _ the  _ most peaceful nation, according to statistics, and pollution isn’t as high in your area than in others. Just try and breathe, take deep breaths and know that shutting yourself out, drinking and refusing help has never done anyone any good.” 

 

“You’re right…” He grumbled, still a little bit of refusal to admit that his friend was correct with what he said present in his voice. 

 

“Are you feeling better now?” 

 

“A little bit.” 

 

“I’ll take it.” The Finnish nation joked, poking the younger country in his side. Unsurprisingly, the younger one didn’t really appreciate his actions all that much, it never stopped any of the teasing he received, however. Tino loved his reactions, they were fun to watch and he was undeniably cute when flustered. “I’m not expecting you to get better right away, I just want to help you make a start.” 

 

The shorter male nodded. Meanwhile, the other was dusting himself off and preparing to stand up and go back inside, that was before he felt Iceland’s head on his lap. Looking down, he could confirm that his friend was, in fact, resting himself on him, he wasn’t looking up at him, however, more like looking off into the distance. He muttered a small “stay” which his could only giggle at, but followed his orders anyway. 

 

In all honesty, he was very much aware that his feelings for Ice were returned, it just hurt knowing that they could never be together without it being purely political. Loving relationships between two nations were frowned upon at this point, they were all old enough to understand that things never lasted and it would only result in heartbreak. Even the marriages of two nations were only ever politics, it was actually rare for two married countries to be in love with the other, it was like an unspoken rule at this point. While most people would see this as unfortunate, sad and maybe even unfair, they knew that this was just to protect themselves. This rule didn’t, however, stop nations from having feelings for one another. 

 

Despite all this, he did not move the his head from his position. Everyone could call it wrong, and yet all Finland wanted right now was to be able to be with his crush the way he would be had there not been an unspoken rule against it. Badly, he wanted to be able to hold the other in a more than platonic way, kiss him and be his, he wanted to love him. Wanted to be the boy that Lukas would be cautious of, simply because he was with his brother. These were all things he had long accepted to never happen, however. 

 

Still, they did have this moment. 

 

“I don't want to think about anything right now, Tino.” The other’s quiet, peaceful voice cut off his thoughts, and suddenly the weight from his lap was lifted. Out of curiosity, he turned, looked over to his friend, and saw him on his knees, practically leaning into the Finnish man. Eyes connecting, all their desires in that moment linked up, and they both read everything the other was feeling. “Can it just be us?” 

 

He could've kissed him right then and there. 

 

“I'd like that.” They did not meet in a kiss, although it was clear that they both were tempted to make said contact. Finland let his eyes wander down to his Icelandic friend’s lips, that was before the other dropped onto his shoulder, again staring off into the distance.

 

This time though, he did not take his eyes off of Emil. Almost like he was processing and appreciating the younger’s beauty in a whole new and different way than ever before: his hair was perfect underneath the northern lights- like it existed to reflect them- his eyes twinkled, sparkled and shone in the dark, ink, navy of the sky above them, and he looked so content, far different than he had come across previously. Simply put, he was living proof that beauty didn't require filters or chemicals, and the purest would be natural. Finland wrapped an arm around Iceland, bringing his chin above the other’s head and softly resting it there. 

 

Beginning to feel a little bit of uncomfort on both parts, the pair shifted so that the younger was in between the older’s legs, who wrapped his arms fully around the other, his head on his shoulder and chest pressed to the other’s back. Tino watched as Emil’s hands danced around the daisies in his hands, connecting them in a chain, “How you can see what you're doing, I do not know.” He laughed lightly. 

 

Truth be told, he could only barely see the outline of the flowers in his hands, and yet he was making little mistakes, simply because he had made so many of these daisy chains in his time of being alive that he felt confident enough to not need so much light. One could call it childish, the Icelander really did not care, creating big or small chains of daisies was one of the activities he always felt relaxed when indulged in. Of course, having an audience wasn't very helpful for him, especially not when said audience was his long-time crush holding him, his short blonde hair tickling slightly on his neck. Still, he tried not to let that bother him. 

 

Hours could have passed, and the two would have happily stayed in the blissful silence without a care at all. They both took pleasure in some quiet time every now and again, it was soothing, that was something they could both agree on. Something that Emil loved was seeing other’s reactions when they found out how little the Finn spoke when not filling in the awkward silence between him and Sweden. Whilst other nations could find their silent moments weird, or boring, the two nations found them perfect. They were plainly moments of understanding, respecting and feeling each other, revealing and uncovering secret truths that were unconsciously hidden from just about everyone, and never once did they judge the other, and oddly enough, it made them feel less lonely. 

 

After a while, the Icelander’s hands stopped their task, assessing their finished work, holding it up so that he could get a better view. Not too bad, to say he had a serious lack of lighting, but there was definitely room for improvement, but that wasn’t important in that moment. Despite his physical appearance, he was old enough to understand that not everything was perfect and not everything needed to be perfect- a lesson that the Finn and Dane taught him, the Swede and Norwegian weren’t much help. His actions had caught Tino’s attention too, “It looks great.” He nuzzled his head into his neck, taking the chain from the other’s hands and placing it on his platinum blonde hair. 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

“Em, it’s amazing,” he took a short breath before looking at the younger nation, “You’re amazing.”

 

“Fin…” he trailed, their eyes met yet again, and this time there was no stopping a connection of their lips. Their kiss was messy, definitely not the definition of a perfect first kiss that everyone dreamed of, but that didn’t matter to them. All they cared about was the fact that it was happening, this was happening, in a world where romance was strictly forbidden, their love triumphed all of that for just a moment, a moment where they could have all they ever wanted. One moment. One moment out of one thousand years, a small, insignificant speck of time had soon become something so much more, something the two of them would treasure for a very long time. 

 

Advancing had attempted to occur when the older nation bent over, he was atop Emil, who was lying on the ground, and that was when two hands were pressed upon the taller’s chest and he heard the smaller quietly, hesitantly say, “Not here. Not now.” he sounded pretty embarrassed,  but the other nation was off him within a second. 

 

So, there the two laid, staring up at the sky above them, simply enjoying each other’s company. Emil’s flower crown had fallen off, and Tino could feel his hat begin to slip off of his head too. Together they watched the northern lights above them, observed as they floated among the sky in a blissful manner. A small and silent agreement was made between the two, no matter how bad things got, true beauty would always prevail.

 

It was nice, more than that. After months of feeling so far away from each other, that finally got put to a small rest. Of course, Tino knew and respected what every other nation would say and think. Simply holding the younger male’s hand in a more than friendly manner would seem like a crime: a strange, unfamiliar, yet oh so appealing, sin that no one dared to do. He chuckled slightly at the thought, before it was replaced by a little frown, love shouldn’t been seen as such a horrid thing, and whilst it can lead to heartbreak, trying to stop yourself from feeling such an incredible high would only hurt more. The love Finland felt for Emil was wrong, his head knew that, but his heart said otherwise. 

 

“Have you ever considered running away?” The sudden voice broke the taller nation from his chain of thought. Running away? Sure, initially it did sound amazing, perfect even, so much so that he would consider taking the younger’s wrist and dragging him along to a place where they didn’t have to be nations. Yet, among further inspection it would be a very immature and foolish thing to do- like it or not, they had duties and responsibilities: living, breathing people to look after and home. Of course, there would always be other reasons too- like how much the rest of the Nordics would miss them, who would take care of the paperwork for the nations of Iceland and Finland, and the plain fact there would be nowhere to go.

 

“Perhaps, but I don’t really believe it’s an actual option.” 

 

“Yeah…” 

 

Once more did their conversation fade and fall into nothingness, a comforting presence that was so far beyond words. Simply taking in the situation, he had his requited love actually existing for at least a moment, he didn’t have to control his urges to hold him. Intendedly, his fingers ghosted over the other’s, and he managed to sneak in more looks of admiration towards his five-minute-lover. Wordless. Breathtaking. If this wasn’t love, then what was? 

 

“I’ll be honest for a moment- I never thought I’d fall in love with an alcoholic seventeen year old…” 

 

“I’d hardly call myself an alcoholic.” 

 

“Oh, so you weren’t overloading on bourbon before I came and stopped you?” He gave him a snarky look before continue his original statement, “I never thought I’d fall in love with an alcoholic seventeen year old, but honestly, I can’t regret any ounce of my feelings towards you.” With that being said, he moved Emil under his arm, observing with amusement as a hand reached towards the northern lights before them and twirled ever so slightly. 

 

Truth be told, he had no clue what exactly the Icelander was doing, but it made him feel at peace, so he found no reason to ask him to drop his hand. Whilst this was happening, his violet eyes also seemed fixated on the blue and green hues and shades above them, his mouth muttering small, unhearable words in Icelandic. Despite all this, his body was curled up against the Finnish man’s own, his head resting comfortably on his chest. 

 

The fall of the hand and it collapsing just by his head on the Finn’s chest, shortly followed by a yawn brought to Tino’s attention that Emil was now beginning to, probably unwillingly, fall asleep. A sudden desire to wrap his arms around the younger properly and simply hold him, hopefully transferring positivity and dreams took over him, and he did just that. An irreplaceable smile formed as he watched Iceland’s eyes close in nothing but serenity and happiness.

 

“I will find someone who can properly help you through this Em, I promise.”


End file.
